The schools themselves

I've been doing more research (of course, because that's all I can do at this point), and I've found out some very interesting stuff.

First of all, the more I learn, the more excited I am to teach at one of these schools. What teacher wouldn't want to teach in a private facility that pays like a public school-- or better? With actual opportunities for saving money instead of living paycheck to paycheck? Ahh, one can dream. Money aside, many of these schools are just gorgeous. Most of them emphasize educating the "whole child" (read: less emphasis on standardized testing, they don't cut art and music and there's money for field trips) and they want the students to be aware of their world around them. I've said I love my school, and I do. We do the best we can with what we have, but compared to what's offered to the international schools? Wow. I want to be a part of that, to contribute what I know and to learn their ways.

And I want my kids there. My girls are sharp, curious and open, just right for this experience. One day Nick and I were eating some pretty stinky cheese. Sascha smelled it and made a big "eeww! ewww!" face and noises. Then a thoughtful pause. Then, she plugged her nose and popped a piece in her mouth. I looked at Nick and thought, this kid's ready. Sophie waves at everyone in public. At the dentist last week, she walked right in and hugged the hygienist, whom she'd never met before. I'm thinking she'd fit right into the Land of Smiles.

I've also read some horrible things people have said about teaching in the Middle East. Oh, my. Lots of super-rich kids expecting to do nothing and get A's, and schools that provide just that. It made me realize that we actually ARE doing a pretty good job here in the US, despite the bad publicity and scapegoating of the last few years. I've managed to unearth some unsavory tidbits about micromanaging administrators in some desirable locations, too. It's all so interesting.

Still waiting

I know, I probably started this blog too early. There is an awful lot of waiting going on. I did find a new website where international school teachers can sort of unofficially dish on their schools. It has given me some good information, although it's not as extensive as I'd like. I learned that one school has kind of a controlling jerk of a principal (I had to read between the lines on that one), and another school expects an insane amount of extra work from their teachers. But I also learned that there are a few schools on my list that sound incredible to work for. Their teachers do a much better job of selling it than the (largely objective) hiring agency. Learning all of this is an interesting process.

Of course, I'm also learning that it's the job fairs where most people get hired. Ours isn't until February. This means more waiting... waiting... and waiting. And even then, the job fairs are two days of being thrown into chaos and spit out with jobs. It sounds crazy and exhausting and exciting, but it also sounds like there's almost no way to prepare for it because there are constant surprises and quick decisions to be made. So I can yak all I want about jobs that are opening, but I have a feeling none of it will matter until the job fair.

That said, I found a teacher on the new "inside scoop" website who works at NIST in Bangkok. I asked him a bunch of questions and got a response today! He sounds very positive about the school, which of course intrigues me more than ever, but he also said that the school gets over two dozen applications per day. Per day! And it's more during the hiring season (winter). I just have to remind myself that what's meant to be, will be, and no matter where we end up, it's going to be great.

Except China. We're not going to China.

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You know this thing. It's the picture of frustration and impatience. You're 82% of the way to getting what you want. You can see where you want to be, but you can't have it.

I feel like this is my life right now. In short:

We're always almost there. Almost.

 

It's hard always having that carrot in front of you, never getting a taste.

Thailand has cheap maids and childcare. The house could be clean. Date night could cost less than $150, which means they could happen more often than once every 3 months. The word "vacation" could actually be in our vocabulary and refer to travel instead of time off school to catch up on life, cleaning and fixing the  house and running errands. Right now that's all just a fantasy, and we're working ourselves to exhaustion, always trying to tie up the thousands of loose ends hanging around that can't be done in the ten hours a day we're not at home. It's always something that needs to be fixed. Something is due. Prepping meals. Appointments. And we don't even have our kids in any extracurriculars. None!

I know, I know, the American response is that we're teachers, we get out of school at 2 pm*, summers off, stop whining and complaining, call the waaahmbulance. You could snarkily say "you could live in a smaller house" (as if there are any decent small houses available-- where we live, anything small was built 60+ years ago and supremely crappy, never updated or fixed, still priced at top dollar; that said, our house already is smaller than average and we live in one of the cheapest cities in the state) or "you chose this life" or whatever. Snark away.

*But we leave the house at 6:15, and get home at 4. We have to go to bed before 9. We have the same hours as normal people, just shifted back a few hours.

But the fact is, we are exhausted. We're squeezing ourselves out and getting very little in return, very little to refill our pitchers. Is this it, all give and no return? How much more do we need to stretch ourselves to get a little more balance? I've noticed on "House Hunters International" that on almost every episode, at the end the people will say "we're enjoying the more relaxed pace of life here." Of course they are. They live in a country where they wouldn't need to crowdfund if they got cancer.

I'm ready. I'm burned out. The big challenge is that it's going to get harder before it gets easier. Burnout is not a good thing to feel in the second month of the school year.

It's gettin' real in the Whole Foods parking lot

I have to just think out loud here.

Last night, an English job was posted for one of the two schools we've been looking at in Thailand. (There was already a science job; see two posts down.) I should give a quick description of each school:

NIST is right in the middle of the city. Like, the busiest part. This sounds really exciting to me, there would be so much to do, and we'd probably live in a high-rise apartment. There just wouldn't be a lot of outdoor play areas for the kids (except for the pool), and it could be really noisy. The school itself looks great; it has awesome facilities. Living right downtown would make it a cinch to travel.

ISB is about 10 miles outside of Bangkok, inside a gated community of expat housing. Lots of options for the kids to have a life-- it looks like a military base with pools and tree-lined residential streets where they could ride bikes and play. Because we have kids, I think I'd rather teach and live there than right in the city. Also, I am a wee bit more impressed with the school. They have unbelievable programs, like Global Citizenship Week. The pay is also better than NIST. However, you live and work with the same people. What if they suck? (Not a huge con, since it will only be two years; we could deal.)

So... there are now English and science jobs available at School #1, NIST. It's not like we'd automatically get these jobs, even though I'm talking like we would. They're not thrilled about taking on teachers with kids since they're reaching their limit of spaces for them. The science job looks like I might be biting off more than I could chew; it seems to be curriculum development and support for gifted and talented kids (which is not my strong suit-- my area of expertise is getting the slower kids up to speed). However, it's Thailand. Land of All New Primary Colors that we want to experience. That's where we want to go. Right?

It's strange how all that fantasy suddenly becomes deer-in-headlights when the possibility becomes real. When I told Nick about the English posting (translation: it's time to actually apply), we both kind of went wide-eyed and still. We didn't talk about it a lot. It is really scary.

Right now we're debating about applying at all. Would we really want those jobs if we got them? Should we hold out for ISB? Both schools have great reputations. If this is the last opportunity we might get to go to Thailand, should we take it?

A little something for my Brat friends

From the book "Home Sweet Anywhere" by Lynne Martin, a woman who sold her home to travel the world with her husband in their retirement.

"...[t]he friendships we were developing in our travels were different from those at home. Most relationships start from a situational basis: work, hobbies, school, or club encounters; some last, some don't. Certainly long-standing friendships offer the comfort of shared history. But on the road, there's almost an indefinable moment when we make a connection with people who are kindred spirits.It's a chemistry almost like love, a recognition that doesn't require deep exploration to discover. Meeting other travelers far from home, in whatever country it may be, creates an atmosphere where it's possible to cut to the bones of the friendship. There are no trappings or protocols in the way of just getting to know the person for the person's sake. I inevitably feel a pang of regret when we say goodbye to a new friend whose company we've enjoyed, because although we usually do stay in touch, and try to find ways to intersect as we move around the world, we're all living such fluid lives that it's hard to know if we'll find one another again."

Having dinner in California with a friend they'd met in Florence:

"We chatted about our experiences and shared our plans for the future. Our conversation somehow seemed easier and more natural than our talks with family and friends. Of course our family was interested in our adventure; however, it seemed hard for them to relate to our free-floating life, in which we talked about meeting someone for lunch in Berlin as casually as if we were meeting them in Los Angeles or San Luis Obispo. It began to dawn on us that we had fundamentally changed since our decision to live home-free. Our world view had become larger, and our place in it more fluid. As we talked with Judy, who had lived internationally for much longer, we realized that living home-free had unfettered us in more important ways than leaving pots and pans behind. We were much more intrepid, and felt completely comfortable about being in new situations, living in countries whose languages were unknown to us, finding friends to amuse and inform us. We had more confidence in our ability to be in the world, and it certainly took a lot more drama to make us upset nowadays."

This is who I feel like I was when I moved back to the states 23 years ago. I want that again, and I want that for my kids. My friend Katrina just moved to Oslo for a year and we talked about "ruining" our kids. Do we keep them in one place their whole lives, give them rock-solid stability and a hometown? Lifetime friendships that are actually conducted in person? Or do I open up the world to them, infecting them with the need to always search for more? I think the pros and cons are roughly equal, objectively anyway. For me, I need the latter.

Gulp!

 

Welp. There it is. 

Of course, there isn't an English job posted for this school yet. (Yet! I'm optimistic.) NIST is one of two schools in Bangkok that we're watching very closely. It's right in the middle of the city. The other one is about 10 miles outside of Bangkok, in a lush gated community full of expats. Both schools look like they have awesome facilities and have great real-life reviews online. Each has its own pros & cons which ultimately make them neck & neck for me.

Although we have been leaning more towards Thailand for so many reasons, the past few days here in New England have been chilly and rainy, making me absolutely ache for Europe. So when this job came up, I was a little tormented... My head says Thailand, but my heart says Europe. It's my heart. I have shed actual tears watching The Sound of Music and Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. I NEED to be in that place that my dad called "a life-sized Playmobil."

Because I am the kind of person who loves to plan ahead for everything, hypothetical or real (oh yes I did write my name with my boyfriends' last names in my notebooks' back pages), I came up with a solution. And now I really want jobs in Thailand. 

I can already hear my family laughing at this: I priced tickets from Boston to Bangkok, and found that it costs roughly the same (if not a little less) to break up the trip. We could fly from here to Munich, stay for a week or so (what? it would help our jet lag, right?), then continue on another airline to BKK*. And what airline has the cheapest flights to Munich? Oh, just Iceland Air, which offers layovers up to five days. Iceland is close to the top of my bucket list. A few days in Iceland, a few days in Munich, then onto the jungle for two years. 

*I don't know why I love this abbreviation so much.

Sign me up! I'm ready now! Come onnnn, NIST English job... 

I really haven't looked up apartments in both Munich and BKK. Oh, who am I kidding. Of course I have.