The Big Picture at One Year

Happy anniversary to us... we arrived in Chiang Rai one year ago today*. We chuckle at how bewildered we were that day, dragging ourselves from our hostel to the closest restaurant we could find before we collapsed in the heat. Then there were months of itching, sweating, nausea, and bitter struggle... We survived an intense school year and lost about $5,000, we've traveled a fair amount, made a handful of friends I hope we'll have for life, and I'm 13 pounds lighter. We have come a long way, and I am so proud.

*I actually started this entry a week ago. Now we've been here a year and a week. 

Now: facing down the descent. As Nick says, descending a peak is when most injuries occur. Considering the financial hardships we've had, I really hope the worst is behind us and the year is smooth.

We had our first official visitors last month! Nick's brother Kyle came first, and Nick played tour guide. Then my former student (and current friend) Heather came, and I took the reins. My god, we had fun. We saw Bangkok, a beach with wild monkeys, many night markets, a Muy Thai fight*, funky Chiang Mai street art, waterfalls, and temples. We played with elephants in the rain. We called a cab one time and a very sweet old man showed up in an SUV with his whole family, but hey, it was a ride to the airport and there were two empty seats. We got $10 massages in a traditional teak building while a tropical storm raged outside. We hiked at a botanical garden just a few steps from the Myanmar border. We covered just about everything. I love seeing Thailand through someone else's eyes. It amazes me every day, it's just nice to be able to show it to someone else, sort of confirming that I'm not dreaming this.

*To my local friends: If you haven't been to a Muy Thai fight, GO! We just did the one they have in the Chiang Mai night market every night. It's 400 baht (there are ticket hawkers everywhere) and it is one of the coolest things I've seen here.

Right now I'm looking at the year ahead and it's suddenly looking very short. On one hand, my feelings for Thailand have found a healthy balance and I'm looking forward to the conveniences of home (namely, a dishwasher; we're both sick of slippery dishes dropping and breaking while washing them by hand). I keep a list of things I miss, something I've covered in previous entries. The latest: I miss the library. I miss peas, GOOD peas, sweet baby peas. The only ones we get here are big, hard, and chalky no matter how long you cook them. I miss my full-sized food processor. I miss good summer tomatoes. Tropical climates will produce tomatoes year-round, but never good ones. I miss Triscuits.

I am tired of the critters. We had a brief respite from the scorpions, but they've come back. Our new record was four found in one day; two of those were shaken out of my yoga mat. And one night I reached for the toilet paper and there was a thick, black, two-inch spider sitting right on it. Actually it was on the back side of it, so I had to unroll it a little before I got my surprise. Come on, man.

But on the other hand, my spidey-senses are on full alert here, in a good way. I remember on our wedding day (eleven years ago tomorrow!), I was hyper-aware of every moment, paying extra close attention to every second of the day to make sure I fully soaked it in. I'm kind of like that here. The view out of any window in our house is breathtaking every day. There are smells of wood smoke, jasmine, coffee and rain. The sound of roosters, cows, and more rain. My mind is so clear without the phone ringing. I can't believe how much my phone rang back home-- fundraising cops and firemen, mostly (give it a REST guys, damn), but the witching hour always seemed to bring major crises to my loved ones, blowing up my phone with text after text as I tried to put out my own fires. You know how you have your best thoughts, your most creative problem-solving thoughts when you're in the shower, or driving, or lying in bed or anywhere else you're not distracted by chaos? That's my life now. The daydreaming part of my brain is chugging along all the time. A lot of the time, I'm trying to think of how I can keep this peace when we move home. It will probably start with not getting a land line, and turning off my phone between 4 and 8.

We were watching something on Netflix the other day and someone said, "You're the worst." It reminded me of a fight we had with Sascha back home. There was yelling and door-slamming. And you know what? We haven't had any fights here. Not a single slammed door this entire year. Not once. Why is that?

Planning trips has become an addiction; even more so now that I know our time is limited. We spent a couple days in Chiang Mai and rolled in all tired last night, so happy to be home... and by this morning I was poking around the websites again to plan a solo trip to Sukhothai next week. I'm going to try to work my travel desires into field trips, to save time and money. I haven't approached my school about this yet, but I have found a two-week trip to Malaysia for my Environmental Science class... one week studying rainforest conservation (here), and one week working in a sea turtle hatchery at the beach (here). I KNOW. There's also an opportunity to feed the homeless of Saigon for a week with my health class. I've started the ball rolling on our Christmas trip to India by pinning down some dates with our friends. This is the Big One for me, having wanted to go to India for as long as I can remember. We are totally going to ride camels in Rajasthan. I've reserved a hotel in Siem Reap for the Angkor Wat half marathon in December (made sure it was fully refundable, heh). And last but not least, I've started poking around travel websites for Nepal. Nepal. Actually seeing the Himalayas in person. The four of us could go for a week, and airfare, hotels and guided tours would cost about $3,000. We don't exactly have that kind of money, so I'm torn. Three grand, for four people, for a week in Nepal? When will we ever get that opportunity again? It's only a four-hour flight! When I look at the big picture, is it worth racking up credit card debt? What would my 70-year-old self say? Well, I know what my gut is telling me, without an ounce of hesitation.

I think I need to see this in person.

What would you do?