Vacation, all I ever wanted

Whew! Been a while! Sorry. We went on vacation for a week*, then came right back into the whirlwind of school. But now, it’s Term 2. This is the deadline I set for myself to get it together. I think I’m there, in the upswing of adjustment. I have a rough outline of what I’ll be teaching this term and I’m settling into a groove in terms of bureaucratic requirements, home responsibilities and self-care (i.e., shaving my legs was a challenge).

I also think I’ve learned enough to feel comfortable here, more or less. It’s still slightly awkward when, say, I’m at the mall and I walk past a group of young employees in a store and they stop their conversation as I pass. They’re polite, of course. But I stick out. I’m a foreigner, a farang, and an unfashionable middle-aged one at that. Silver lining? My middle age allows me to not care. Wheeee, 40s!! But my point is—I’ve figured out enough so that I’m not in a constant state of semi-panic all the time. I actually know my own phone number and many back roads around town. I found a great hairstylist, and the old woman at the fruit market with the black teeth knows me. The hard-way lessons are gradually getting fewer and less frequent. 

This being Term 2, the line I drew for myself in the sand, I’ve been quietly starting to work on my health. In just one week of not drinking, and paying attention to my portion sizes and eating speed (yeah, it’s a thing… a shameful thing), I dropped four pounds of bloat. Of course I’ve fallen off the wagon again, but it's a start. I am partly motivated by fashion. I have hardly any clothes—I wear the same five outfits every week—and I want to go to Bangkok to shop. But I don’t want to ask if they have bigger sizes in the back, and I don’t want to look at myself in the mirror and think, “ehh… well… this is temporary.” I don’t want to spend what precious little money we have on “temporary” clothes or a temporary body. It’s not even just about vanity; I am uncomfortable. The weather is cooling, I’m getting my footing at work… it’s time. It’s time NOW. 

And deprivation is kind of (forced) easy here. There are no big displays of Halloween candy in any store. I can’t keep chocolate in my desk at school because it would melt. I have always classified people into “sugar” or “salt” categories based on what they crave, and I am a sugar girl living in a salt country. It’s a challenge, but it takes a lot of the pressure off my willpower. 

I’ve convinced Nick’s mom to spend our inheritance on postage for a care package, and it’s on its way! I am so excited. Heatproof spatulas, probiotics, a microplane grater! Tampons! A coffee grinder! Books for the girls and even a couple of magazines for us! I also got a huge bottle of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap from my friend Taya, who lugged it across the Pacific and through Tokyo and Hong Kong (thank you x10000 Taya!). I think I’m adjusting better and better to not having western goods, but this box will be such a nice break from… effort. Two things we’ve learned just do not exist here: index cards, and simple pocket folders. I rely on both of these things heavily as a teacher. Nowhere to be found. It makes our jobs even more challenging. I have many, many stacks of paper in my classroom in a makeshift system. It gives my inner organizational nerd hives.

In other adjustment news, I’ve noticed that denial has played a major role in my thoughts. I won’t let myself think of our old house or look at old pictures. Holidays are coming up and I haven’t given them much thought, aside from vague bubbles of “we’ll figure out Halloween when we get there,” and “Christmas tree…? How the hell will we work that one?” We’d like to road-trip to Laos over Xmas vacation (just typing that makes me smile involuntarily), but aside from that? I don’t know. I can’t picture Christmas morning here.  Today is Halloween, and here’s the report: we figured out costumes pretty much on the fly.

I took the girls to a great neighborhood party last night where we knew almost nobody, but they treated us like old friends. Tonight? Well… trick or treating hasn’t really made it up to Chiang Rai yet. So. Our consolation prize to the girls is to eat a big bowl of candy while watching “Paranorman” together. As long as Sascha’s okay with it (and she is), it’s a go. 

It’s not just nostalgia for the US that I’m avoiding. There are several songs that remind me of Europe that I can’t listen to when they turn up in my shuffle. Europe, for me, is an unrequited love. It is my ultimate goal, like finding that childhood romance: if it takes me my whole life, I will get back there. Not to visit. I will find you, and we will be together again. I know. I’m a creepy Europe-stalker. Some of you understand. I can make my toes curl just thinking about the buildings. 

Let me count the ways

I spouted out a little German while riding my bike with Sascha the other day, and I was surprised how easily it flowed out of my mouth. A friend posted pictures of her visit to a vineyard in France, and the afternoon light in the photos made me swoon. The light is different, I swear it is. I started reading “The Zookeeper’s Wife” last week and had to stop. It takes place in Poland. I just can’t. The desire. I can taste it if I let it in. 

Someone asked me recently if I was missing fall in New England. I told her that I’m very surprised to admit that I don’t. It’s a testament to how badly I wanted a change that I’m not sick of the hot, sunny weather here, not one bit. People back home are posting pictures of apple picking, scarves, and stews, and I’m all “LET’S GO SWIMMING!” without an ounce of pain. I just rode my bike around town for an hour, and the weather is cooling and drying off. It’s gorgeous, and lately there’s a strong fresh flower smell everywhere when I go riding. I can’t see any flowers blooming, so I can’t figure out why (John? Any idea?). I’m a flower nerd so it thrills me to my core. The “cooler” weather means that when I go running on weekend mornings, I see people shivering on the backs of motorbikes because of the 70-degree weather. Meanwhile, I’m carrying a hand towel to mop my sweat. 12 years in New England? Blood as thick as molasses. Still, I’m glad to be away from the hard-core snow for a few years. 

Okay, it’s video time. Here’s where I explain the * above: I mentioned that we went on vacation, off the cuff, as though it’s a normal thing. Us, taking a vacation? To a beach? NOT NORMAL! We just never had the money. Nick and I have had one actual vacation since our honeymoon ten years ago, and it took us over a year to pay that off.

Bangkok Air is seriously awesome! That was a delicious chicken pie and a little piece of cake.

We spent the week doing nothing but swimming and eating. Pool, beach, pool, beach. Listening to the cool birds and looking at the crazy butterflies. I spent a lot of time just taking deep breaths. There were a few rainy days, but we couldn’t complain; still gorgeous. 

This was our bathroom. No ceiling on that sucker. Midnight peeing under the stars was interesting.

We rented motorbikes a couple of days to explore the island, but it’s still pretty uninhabited so there wasn’t a lot to see. I took a long ride alone one afternoon and saw a couple of undeveloped beaches, a huge dog fight (there were about a dozen dogs), and an actual monkey. That was cool. At one point I had a little maniacal chuckle to myself, riding through the jungle, thinking: Holy crap. I gave up everything for this. All of it. And it is truly awesome.

So! Here’s the footage!

A week after we returned, we decided it’s time to start getting out and about. Here is our day trip to a local waterfall. This is about a 30-minute drive from us. The drive alone was stunning. The hike was quite challenging; steep and slippery with no guard rails for most of the way. 

This post has been unfinished for so long that I’ve already started working on the next one. It won’t be three more weeks. Stay tuned!