“Short” is a military term which refers to your tour (base assignment) almost being over. It’s when you can see the end.
I have decidedly mixed feelings about this.
Our jobs have taken a sour turn. The students are still some
of the best I’ve ever had, lively, funny and bright. They are my sole
motivation, and sometimes they’ve been the only reason I haven’t hopped on a
plane home early. But in the last few months, staff discontent has been
growing, to put it mildly. Having the screws tightened on us has been strangely counterproductive.
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| Something like this. |
Many teachers are looking for new jobs; two quit mid-year. Just
before Christmas, my pay was docked when I requested time off for my parents’ visit.
It’s a long story, but the bottom line is that my anger hasn’t softened one
bit (we did sell everything we owned to pay our own way here). This is partly why I haven’t written here for so many months. I just want
to get out of there and be finished. It’s unfortunate, but oddly helpful as it will make it easier
to leave when the time comes.
I am looking forward to the high of moving again; the
fresh start, settling into the new place, figuring out our new routines,
reuniting with our families and old friends and coworkers. Picking out new sheets and towels! Even the packing
and unpacking will be kind of fun (my military brat friends understand this).
Except... I will miss Asia. Asia feels good. It's warm and relaxed, interesting and quirky. Thailand is a police state but I feel so free here. I am very apprehensive about
money after we move back. I always felt so limited back home, like our hands were always tied.
On paper we made really good money, but we always had debt, never
traveled, and every expense was painful. Here, we make next to nothing and we’ve
lived like royalty.
And the color! I am astonished every day by the beauty here, openly available to everyone. Everything even remotely beautiful in the US is prohibitively expensive. In the back of my head, I have this nagging thought. I’m leaving this…
And going home to, well, this.
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| Not that there's anything wrong with that. |
New England is home, though. It's home. The wooly accents, the dirty snow, the great beer and terrible coffee (looking at you Dunks... yeah, I said it), the salty language and sincere, unrestrained laughs. The grungy pizza/sub shops on every corner that smell like old bowling alleys and have menus that look like this:
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| I love these places |
My heart feels so open there. I miss it, and I will love being back, but apart from a few stunning weeks in the fall, I think I will feel a distinct lack of color and spice in my life. There's little left there to explore and discover that I haven't already. My senses will be understimulated. I worry about that. I'm hoping that all of our rediscovered conveniences (and cold weather clothing choices!) will help smooth the transition, but knowing that we can't hop on a plane for a weekend change of scenery, or that we won't be using our passports again for a long time, will be tough. I will probably dive headfirst into grad school to try to distract myself from the nagging ache of wanderlust.
We have one last big trip planned. In April, we're going to the beach. I chose a quiet, isolated island close to Malaysia:
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| That's the entire island! We're staying on the beach in the foreground. |
After a few days there, we'll fly back to Bangkok together where I will split from the family to take a few days in Saigon by myself. I am living for this trip. I will spend a few days walking around the city, listening to music, lost in my own head, probably shedding a few tears. In May, Nick and I will each take final solo trips to Chiang Mai and Bangkok. Then it will be time to turn our attention towards the big move.
I still haven't written about India. That's another reason I haven't written since October. In November I had three visitors, then my parents and other family came for three weeks in December for a whirlwind trip. I was crazy busy. It was the greatest trip of my life, and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it, as well as get pictures organized. That entry is going to be a book. Hopefully soon!
