It's Saturday morning. We're trying to decide what to do with our weekend. Neither of us slept well due to Sophie's usual antics (she has never been a good sleeper), so bear with me because this post is coming from a tired, grouchy me.
Sascha wants to go to the movies. So does Nick, although he wants to see something different. I said to him, "If this was 30 years ago, you could take Sascha and her cousin to the movies and let them go to their own show by themselves." Then several thoughts piled on to me at once: We have to be with our kids at all times. Nowadays, CPS is called if we let them do anything on their own. When I was a kid, our parents were not saddled with this responsibility, when crime was actually worse. On top of all that, our mothers didn't work. So after a week of 5 am wakeups, hour-long commutes, and wrangling teenagers (and this week it was also term grade deadlines), I'm supposed to do Pinterest-worthy activities with my kids because it's unsafe for them to do anything on their own, and there are no other kids around because of divorce and weekends-at-Dad's or endless sports, and why would I want them to do anything else anyway because they're supposed to be THE MOST FULFILLING PART OF MY LIFE. I suppose they are, in the abstract. But I need the damn oxygen mask on my own tired mug for a while. My personal gas tank feels like it's always near empty. I always have two bucks for more gas. Just enough to keep going, never enough for the long distances of my week. A run here, a night out with a girlfriend there. Two bucks at a time.
It has actually taken me six hours to write this post due to the constant interruptions.
On another note... A science job opened up at our number one choice of schools! I didn't wait for the English job yet. I went ahead and applied. Nick is calling it the Lottery job, because getting it would be like winning the lottery. I find myself thinking about Thailand constantly. Crossing all fingers and toes and fibers of my being. I am very confident about the letter I wrote them, so here's hoping!
